New Orleans Hash House Harriers

Hash No. 974

Hares: Giggles Low Just Jane

Date: 25 March 2007

Venue: The Railroad Tracks and Levee

Near Cooter Brown’s Saloon

In New Orleans, Louisiana

Late afternoon, sunny and warm.


The Trail:

From the gravel parking area between the railroad tracks and the east bank levee of the Mississippi River, the hounds set out on trail weaving through the narrow streets of the area known as Carrollton for about a mile top and across Oak Street, past Carrollton Station Cafe, around the streetcar barn on Willow Street.

This would likely have been a place for a beer check but none was mentioned.   I, still hobbled with a knee problem, could not run the trail.   Anyway, the trail led across Carrollton Avenue and along narrow streets of the lovely old neighborhood past a small cemetery that has seen many of us in previous Hashes, continuing to and and across Broadway Street, along Freret Street past the library on the campus of Tulane University.   The flour took the pact toward the south through quadrangle in the front part of the beautiful campus, through one building and out on the front lawn, across St Charles Avenue into Audubon Park and the beer check on Walnut Street.

After soaking up a cold beer and the pristine scenery of Walnut Street and Audubon Park, the pack moved on, following a nearly straight line back to On-in.


The Circle:

Religious advisor:

Piston Penis


The Hares and the Trail:   Doc Cousteau described what he saw in the trail marks which were made by a tennis ball coated with customary flour and bounced once to make a perfect disk on the ground.   Giggles recounted an experience with a campus policeman some years previous and said that experience was the impetus to use the tennis ball system.


New Boots:

Just Benny and Just Tavis, Bar Fine Beaner made ‘em both cum.   All three are assigned to the brand-new United States Ship New Orleans which will linger in the New Orleans area for a while longer before heading for San Diego.



A crewman on the new ship from San Diego H3 was Just Terry.   Porno Prick and Sex With The Beast from Vancouver,  and the two new boots and their benefactor named in the previous department.   Bar Fine Beaner’s current hash chapter is San Diego H3.   


Bar Fine Beaner who hashed in Okinawa had a gift for the Grand Mistress.   He presented G String with a tee from Okinawa which she changed into without any provocation at all.



Not in Hash attire.   Most of the hashers present entered the circle.



Light Days was coerced into the circle, Lusty Lady was her surrogate drinker.


*Scribe:  On Da Rag  (Tom) 

Errors? Omissions?  Send an e-mail to:

Or, attend the next Hash and make arrangements with the Religious advisor to bring it up in the circle.



New Orleans Hash House Harriers

Hash No. 973



Puppy Pumper, Hand Job, Gooey Blow, Beer Fart

Date: 18 March 2007


Venue:  The  Irish~Italian Parade in Metairie

the Americanized Suburb  of

New Orleans, Louisiana


The Trail:

In pristine, sunny and cool weather, the pack left on trail from the car park of the bank which has become a tradition on the day of the Irish~Italian parade heading easterly along residential streets to Canal Street (in Metairie,  not to be  confused with World-Famous _), along the canal which it straddles to the now world-famous Seventeenth Street  Canal, along same to Metairie Road.   The trail followed Metairie Road, a winding, picturesque commercial street that follows a ridge of high ground upon which is located Old Metaitie to a strip shopping center where the pack found the beer check after about two and a half miles of running.

From that beer check the pack were led along circa 1930 residential streets to a neighborhood bar and cafe called Mama’s Place.   Was there a beer check?*

After either stopping at or passing Mama’s, the trail led to the frontage road for I-10, across and passing under the elevated highway and more or less straight back Chase Bank and the on-in.



The Circle:

Religious advisor: Spread ‘Em


Spread ‘Em stepped up and called the hashers gathered to order and opened the proceedings with a tribute to G, principal co-founder of the worldwide phenomenon known as The Hash House Harriers.   She led the pack singing and signing, ‘Swing Low Sweet Chariot’.



Sir Song Man, a Dutchman who started his Hash Life with Jakarta H3, has been known to hash in Hanoi and is a regular Hasher in Beijing.   A civil engineer, he is in New Orleans to help plan the rework of the  flood protection system here in New Orleans.   Sir Song Man confirmed the pronunciation Gouda (chese) sounds like, ‘how-da’.   He serenaded with a song about a Gay Marino who turned out to be a Gay Senorit-O.   In his song, the word ,’gay’, has the original definition, meaning joyous and happy but the modern corruption held true as well.

Naval Jelly, spouse of, and Our Own Vann who is a veteran NOH3’er.   They hang with So H.appy I.t’s T.uesday Hash House Harriers near Washington DC.


The Hares and the Trail:

When opinions of the trail were solicited by the RA, some expressed disdain for the large number of re-groups, that there were too many hills and some mention of Metairie Grammar School, presumed to be to many thereof.    (But that is, and was, a good school.)


Celebrated DFL:

Chicken Pot Guy finally showed up at the circle after having run the trail solo.   He said, “I  got off  late”.   Spread ‘Em paraphrased, “You got off?   On Trail?”



Bend Over Rover said, ‘I’ve been wankin’ it.’   Head Rice said that he, too had been wankin’ it.   Does this imply that they had been absent together?



Juggling Whorafist was called to the circle to juggle his balls.   While committing that act, Gooey pointed out that  he was wearing a shirt from a competitive event, a marathon held in Chicago.   Just as down-downs were prescribed, Gooey Blow recounted that before the spectators gathered for the parade that he not only exhibited his penins, penns, penins...the kind that are used for bowling...but even juggled them.


Over Achieving Scum Bags:

In the Ten-K competitive event (Run on the Bayou) held the previous day, Spread ‘Em finished first overall among women and Juggling Whorafist finished second in age group.


Thanks to all on the MisManagement Board who made it happen, the burgers were great.


Thanks to Sir Song Man for offering his expertise on flood control to the City of New Orleans.


*Scribe:  On Da Rag  (Tom) 

Errors? Omissions?  Send an e-mail to:

Or, attend the next Hash and make arrangements

with the Religious advisor to bring it up in the circle.






New Orleans Hash House Harriers

Hash No. 972


The Green Dress Run


Hares: Tidy Bowl Man, Queen Gaping Orafice 969 III cum Juggling Whore-A-Fist


Date: 11 March 2007

Venue: The Saint Patrick’s Day Parade on Metairie Road

In Old Metairie a suburb of New Orleans, Louisiana


The Trail:

The trail began, sort of, on Metairie Court at Tidy Bowl Man’s Mother’s house, which was until a few months previous the place where Tidy lived as well, and led the pack one block to a three-way intersection with Metairie Road and Fagot Street (‘Fagot’ is pronounced, ‘Fah-GO’–yes! really!), a right turn there and a half block to the branch library and the space in the car park where NOH3 was granted (unbeknownst to the library administrators) prime space to set up camp.   Metairie Road is a picturesque, winding street along which would pass the Saint Patrick’s Day parade.  

At about eleven thirty, Tidy conducted chalk talk and ten minutes later the pack took off in pursuit.   The trail led the pack westerly out of Old Metairie across Causeway Boulevard on the treacherous, overland route to the east-most part of an area known as ‘New Metairie’.   The trail zigzagged along residential streets to the starting point of the parade on Severn Street at Rummel High School.   This was delineation from St Pat’s Hashes of previous years so those parade goers got to experience the vista of hashers running in green dresses.

From there, the trail went somewhere but most of the pack simply followed the parade route along Severn Street, to a left turn onto Metairie Road a pass under the elevated Causeway Boulevard, continued along Metairie Road back to the library and On-in.

The Circle:

Religious advisor: Spread ‘Em


New Boots: (We had at least one. She had an injured knee and said she was from Gretna.)*



From Baton Rouge H3; Week End Pass and (Spouse)*, Crotch Critter, Pussy On A Rope and (Spouse)* and Medicinal Hand Job.



Cock Pit and Sucks His Own.   Was Father Scumbag a reboot, too?*


The Hares and the Trail:   The work of the hares was  praised Hash-style, as usual and the hares did a down-down.



Hell must be freezing over because the hasher who was becoming known as, “Forever Just Tracy” will forever enjoy explaining to hashers worldwide just exactly why she was named, “Beat Me Eat Me".

And then as a hasher was named the week previous, Queen Gaping Orafice 969 III, it was thought that since he won lots of throws from his juggling capabilities and that his new name would not fit on name tags and such and since it included both a Roman numeral and modern (Arabic?) numeral that an acronym would be nearly impossible.    So for humanitarian reasons his name was reviewed during the Circle and changed to, “Juggling Whore-A-Fist”.   He did say that he would probably introduce himself as “Juggs” and answer questions as they arise.

Accusations:   There were many.*   


Thanks:   Thanks to the Jefferson Parish Library for their generous provision of a venue for the NOH3 Green Dress Run...insomuch as they knew anything about it.


*Much is missing from this report... the scribe was drinking ‘and all that, soooo...

*Scribe:  On Da Rag  (Tom) 

Errors? Omissions?  Send an e-mail to:



New Orleans Hash House Harriers

Hash No. 971

Hares:  Chicken Pot Guy  Doc Cousteau

Date:  4 March 2007  Venue:  Mid City;

Carrollton AvenueUrsuline Street

And Points Between in

New Orleans, Louisiana


The Trail:

On that sunny and not too chilly Sunday afternoon in the parking lot of a strip mall that was still mostly untouched since being flooded by the Great Hurricane of 2005, the hares, Doc Cousteau and Chicken Pot Guy fled with Pot Guy laying true trail and Doc setting the aberrations along Carrollton Avenue to a right turn on the railroad tracks that follow a strip that was once a navigation canal that connected Lake Ponchartrain with the area now called the ‘French Quarter’.

The trail led along a drainage canal to a crossing of same on an eight-inch wide  concrete beam northward, passing   through a neighborhood known for qualities other than quiet, tranquil evenings and safe, secure living to a beautiful little park that was created by the convergence of Ursulines and Bell Streets at North Lopez Street and the beer check.   Doc’s many checks and false trails must have been crafted well because the pack had arrived at the beer check within minutes of each other.

From the beer truck, the pack were led to a bridge crossing of Bayou St John, and into a picturesque neighborhood northward to the south boundary of City Park, a street named, as one might imagine, City Park Avenue.   The trail led along same to a left turn back into the neighborhood on Allard Street,  snaked through the streets there, ended back on Orleans Avenue, circle-jerked down on some railroad tracks again (Pot Guy’s words), found a break in a fence at an abandoned warehouse parking lot, went through that, and out another break in the fence, then reached the On-in about a 1/4 mile later.



   The Circle:

Religious advisor: Swamp Bitch


New Boots:Just Trent and Just Kim, Peter Teaser made them cum.



Temporary Fuck Bucket and Just Erin; Tighty Whitey, Olympic Cock Ringer and Jiggles Low.

When TFB was asked to explain his long absence, he did respond but the scribe has in his notes, “First time—sdrtÕbeer beerÕfinish... (It seemed at the time to have some meaning...) * 

TFB responded to whatever it was, “This is not true”.

Swamp Bitch then asked Just Erin why she hasn’t been out to hash and she stated while gesturing toward TFB, “He did not make me cum.”  No further explanation was needed.

When queried again about his absence, TFB stated, “ I was wanking”.   No further questions from Swampy.

Tighty Whitey, Olympic Cock Ringer and Jiggles Low were also welcomed back after prolonged hiati.


The Hares and the Trail:

Doc Cousteau and Chicken Pot Guy were called to defend their opus.   It was said of the trail that there were neither enough Port-A-Johns nor usable bushes due to cold weather and shedding of leaves therewith...



Forget Me Not, Ready Whip and New Boot Just Trent.



Just Paul who has been with NOH3 for many months as of Sunday’s Hash was called to the circle for another attempt at naming.   It was disclosed that Just Paul rode in the Orpheus Parade on Lundi Gras (Monday before Mardi Gras) and did ride on the same float as New Orleans Saints Head Coach Sean Payton.   Among the suggestions:  Queen Orafice (sic, or was it Queen Orfice?), Orafice and Peace (Just Paul is a Marine).   Ultimately, it was decided that Just Paul would be know to hashers worldwide as, “QueenGapingOrafice 969III”  (Tune in next week for an update on Just Paul’s naming.)



Hashers not on trail were called.   Butt Gravy and G-String said that they were  late because the other two buildings in their three-building apartment property burned.   Nobody was hurt but it was learned that firefighters did retrieve from the rubble for one lucky tenant, his bong.

manporn.cum said that he stayed up late the night before to do the Full Moon Hash

Gooey Blow called Ice Balls and asked, “Where is your Hat?”   Ice Balls acknowledged that it was not on his own head and as he assumed that Gooey knew something about it’s whereabouts. She handed it over and a down-down was prescribed but not before it was noted that Ice Balls was wearing a shirt with the ‘R’ word on it.

Dental Damsel stepped up and called all Marines who were pictured in the newspaper serving  with NOH3~Red Dress water/Power Aid/beer stop on the course of the Mardi Gras Marathon.   The call was then expanded to include all Marines, then to include Navy, Coast Guard, and then all other services both active and veteran and the numbers grew to nearly half of those assembled and all did a down-down.


Thanks:  As the sun set on another Sunday Hash day, Co-Hare Chicken Pot Guy corralled the pack to a new little restaurant nearby on Carrollton Avenue called ‘Roosters’ where he had negotiated some great On-After fare with the owners.   It is a nice place, the rear area, where the bar is located, is a couple steps up.   The street cars can be watched from there as well as the dining area at the front.


On Da Rag